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Moonchaser

by Living Room

/
1.
The biggest lie I was led to believe is all of this exists separately. Because everything I touch (everything I trust) turns to reality. I’m a mirror, step in front of me.
2.
It’s like we’re underwater where it’s slower and the lights glow brighter, the ground is softer. Like just because I know her the noise is lower and our bodies feel lighter, our voices travel further. But I still get nervous when I can’t see the surface. I breathe deeper when I sleep. I wake up and I exhale. When I honor synchronicity the more of myself I see everywhere. Almost forgot about my body, everything in perfect timing. And if it ever hurts i'll turn it into compersion. I got versions of myself to burn, future selves I still have to earn but I won’t get there until I learn that the future will take care of itself. I shift my attention as to not burn out. But you could let me know when it’s time to go, if it’s only time, if it’s time at all. I believe in energy and I won’t stop searching for this. Even if I never get a chance to hold it I won’t feel sorry for myself.
3.
We’re all variations on a dream. Your version of me is a reflection of how you think. Reality is not just what you think you see, it’s what you believe, your definitions of everything in different themes. I don’t need patience to be where I am. The moments coalesce, I make the fear my friend because it never ends. Still something drags my attention away from the now. Slips my mind, I’m fine but I’m losing it. I'll take the fall, my soul would rather be crushed than nothing at all. Different angles of the same moment is what the past and future are. You’re in the center. I guess it all comes down to attraction, how our thoughts create action, our brains record what happened. The future’s not for me to comprehend. I’ll get what I need, it’s what I wanted in a different package.
4.
Aura Camera 01:41
I'm falling apart. I know there’s wisdom in giving up but I can’t seem to cut off the frequency. And I can’t even ask a question without knowing the answer inherently. Like “If I wore it on my sleeve would it be easier to find me?” (yup). What I’d rather not become is what it takes to remind me. ‘Cause I'm so heavily into being, it weighs nothing it weighs everything. These are the tools I hold to navigate an endless world.
5.
Moonchaser 03:14
I wanted you in my pocket, I wanted that old flame. But I guess lighters light fires, change hands then break and we’re the same. I'm glad I cut off the bracelet I made from the string I stole from you years ago when you were folding up your laundry. Now you don’t have to try to remain unseen since you got clean. So the fact that you wont see me is a truth I'll have to set free. I tell myself, “Write it down, turn it around.” But you're still in the little things that I do. I still smoke my cigarettes in the same way that you used to, back when I would say, “Don’t let their world steal you away.”
6.
Out of Love 01:39
I can’t get it out of my head that I'm dying. You let me stay in your bed, we kept our clothes on like last time. And your room’s a mess, it perfectly reflects the state we’re in. Right now all I know is I'm just skin and bones and I’m disappearing. When I try to hold the things that I don’t own it gets disappointing. You have no room for me to this degree, still I could kill myself and die happy. I made the choice between love and being free. You heard me laugh in my sleep.
7.
Feet of Snow 03:17
Under grey skies staring at grounded stars. Long drives with the place that I still call home in mind. Long nights and I still call home sometimes. We're close to being far from where we're from. And I fell short of the mark. And I'm not sure if I can feel it still. I let years go by and now you don't know who I am when you look in my eyes and neither do I. While I was waiting for something something weighed for a while on my life. From the stairs where I first heard the words that put me in this endless reach for something real, to teach myself the end is maybe closer. Closure may be over when the questions find their answers like, we're distant, we're still connected. This all could dissipate with thought if I let it.
8.
Crystalline 02:36
This is a gift, every bit. I need to look at my reflection and what I stand to learn from it. Consider everything, drop what doesn’t resonate. There’s a force within these feelings, magnetic north to my true being. I sing the body holographic. Multidimensional crystalline projections. A dream within a dream from a limited perspective. And yet I wonder why I still dream of her and the house built by my grandfather. What’s left for me? I got a pocket full of epiphanies, some spare change. There’s a subtle plan, degrees to which I understand it. I’ve got constant hands to hold mine. There’s “time” and then there’s no time.
9.
About Time 03:05
Wake me up when I'm alone in my room, lost in my mind in the patterns that chase you through the holes in my thoughts to points where memory and the angles of perception meet. To make you a ghost lost in my hope for so long. Or you're still alive and it's me who's afraid to let go. So I'll keep you in my thoughts of static where you lost light in that big house that Dad built. That shell where nothing moved, nothing made a sound but the sound of yourself. So I'm sorry I've been silent. I don't know where the time went. Balancing on a base I know is broken watching you grow old. I guess years make space for reconstruction, but how can you carry the weight of everything that you can't hold? 'Cause I know you were shaking under bright lights in the kitchen. Hold on, I know you were sinking under water in the basement.
10.
If I can live with intention I can become who I prefer to be. But if I cannot love myself then I cannot love anyone or anything. The moon will rise pulling our bodies like the tides move. You won’t find happiness anywhere outside you. And you wouldn’t believe the signs of life that I find holding doors for people or standing in lines. I find it troubling I cant say, “Everything’s perfectly fine.” without it being interpreted as the sarcastic opposite of what I meant. It seems to me when I wake up I’m still dreaming and constantly shifting through infinity. I don’t feel lonely. I've got constant arms to hold me. And between the lines I'm free.

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Jetsam-Flotsam Records 2014

To purchase this record on Vinyl or CD visit:
jetflotsam.storenvy.com/products/7874820-living-room-moonchaser

For MP3 download:
jetsam-flotsam.bandcamp.com/album/moonchaser

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released August 12, 2014

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living room New York

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