1. |
Falling Asleep Walking
02:40
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my unconscious friend, what have you done? what have you dreamt? i hope summer keeps me warm. you can't hide buried under summer lawns. between sleep and dreams, between you and me, i promise to be a nicer sleeper. so i'll grind my teeth to the root of the problem. my head in the trees, i was half asleep but i can see the pattern in the concrete. i'll probably wake up in the forest and i won't have to pretend that the curvature of your spine means that i just lost a friend. and i'll meet you in the river with white moths and marigolds. we can wait on it all winter but we both know we won't. between sleep and dreams, between you and me, i promise to be a nicer sleeper. so i'll grind my teeth to the root of the problem. my head in the trees, i was half asleep, i was half asleep.
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2. |
Blue Stars
02:34
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i know what i ought to do but im feeling unfinished. too scared to be aware so i swallow stars instead. now all the places that we've been are just spirals in my head but i remember you, i remember them and am i the only thing keeping that space and time alive? is it a choice to make? i think i know what's right for me. do i really have a hand in my forgetting? till the end my thoughts are never ending. cause this is our last of the past four summers and i wish i wrote it down to send you in a letter. do you think that's better than the words all rolled in my mouth? we both wanted "now", now we both want out. and of course you could call but you won't. do you think you disappear when you're alone? and are you the only thing keeping that space and time alive? has it occurred to you, i still bare my throat to you. do you really have a hand in your forgetting? because tonight my thoughts of you are unbending.
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3. |
Red Saints
04:00
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i would follow my scars like maps but there's no going back to that. so i'll just cross walks on intersecting blocks, with each step i'll disassemble. sometimes it feels like the smoke hangs over my head like a ghost. i spent the last day of summer alone wishing i could re-learn you, realized i couldn't on my own. i'm on my own. we were sitting in a circle shooting the shit about dying young and what that meant to us. said you have to wake up no matter what and you can't live your dreams if you live like you're asleep but i shouldn't be worried if sometimes it feels like your ghost lives inside my lungs like the smoke. i spent the last night of summer surrounded, i finally found it, my thoughts are grounded, i am home. im not alone.
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4. |
Spiral Galaxy Arms
03:34
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the future's all talk, further still i think the future's all thoughts. i have the memory to see our paths cross, now see me get lost. and keep in mind we're floating through an ocean of frequency so when i say "i'm seeing someone new" i mean i'm finally seeing me in the mirror by the back door where we used to sneak out in the summer. but it won't be there for much longer so i'm leaving our goodbyes on the new haven line. i know somewhere, forever, we're meeting for the first time, yup. i realize i don't do these things to feel alive. i do them to forget in the softest sense. kill myself, a spell is just a spell but these spirals give me hell, these spirals. i'm just like you except you're 25 today and tomorrow i'll still be troubled, caught in an infinite struggle if i don't change, but i can. like the lines in the letters of the words in each sentence we're making the meaning we're building connections and the things i write down help me remember now there's no waiting involved because there's no holding on.
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5. |
Life Lines
03:20
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i want the hissing of summer lawns or just the bench in my backyard. i need the sand that circles your eyes from the south shore to my bedside dresser drawer. this is where i keep my everythings. i breathe so heavy not to be confused with the wind carrying summer news. where was the time really spent, but in my head?too many ghost stories to tell. so let's not watch the fear flow back again. because the connections we make hold so much weight and gravity can be so unkind sometimes and our hands don't stay open for long so i'll hold nothing, wish myself well and move on, i'm gone. but when did we learn to lie? soften your eyes, keep drawing lines to cross and realize love doesn't belong to us. we cast spells and spirals that spin webs for miles, sing. in the motion of these moments we find 'right now' as we already are.
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